When we start to plan our moving abroad, one of the first things we encounter are cultural shocks, which can affect our new life. I won’t go into details on what cultural shock is, but I think a brief introduction is needed before going on. Cultural shock is a process with several stages that is related to how we experience a new environment. Change may make us happy or less happy, and shock determines where we focus our attention and why. It has nothing to do with things working better or worse in one country or the other. However, it can be connected to how things are different in one country or another.
That said, I’d like to share one of my first cultural shocks which I have totally integrated in my mentality afterwards: work-life balance.
Honestly, at first I wasn’t familiar with the concept of work–life balance. I come from a country where timing is often an idea and where, depending on the role you have in a company, you are allowed or requested to work more or less, no matter what. And yes, I know, it’s one of those expressions that gets used so often it risks sounding like a cliché. But living it, day after day, is something very different than just talking about it.
At first glance, work–life balance in the Netherlands shows up in very concrete, almost measurable ways. Working hours are respected. Meetings rarely spill over into personal time. Emails sent late in the evening or during the weekend do not come with the unspoken expectation of an immediate reply. Free time is considered exactly that: free. Not something to apologize for, negotiate or ‘make up for’ later. No doubt I got used to it straight away, even though not having to justify why I was leaving the office at 17:00 or why I was taking the day off was a bit strange at first.
But what really surprised me, and what I’ve come to appreciate the most, is that this balance is not only about schedules or rules. It’s deeply embedded in the way Dutch people approach work. Professionalism is absolutely there. People are competent, prepared and reliable. At the same time, there is a sense of calm that was new to me. Work is taken seriously, but not dramatically so. Problems are addressed directly, often pragmatically, without unnecessary tension. There is care, but rarely overwhelm. Ambition exists, yet it doesn’t usually come at the cost of personal well-being or constant urgency.
Let me add something on ambition. At first, Dutch mentality seems to be against it, almost like you don’t have to show it. And yet ‘kids’ own companies at 20 years old – how is this possible? I came to the conclusion that the answer is talk less about it and do more. There is no need to say that you are the best if you work hard to become the best; this is what ambition looks like in the Netherlands. And being the best doesn’t necessarily mean not having free time and forgetting about everything but work in your life.
This attitude creates an environment where doing your job well doesn’t require sacrificing yourself in the process. You are trusted to manage your responsibilities, and that trust reduces stress for everyone involved. Over time, I noticed how this mindset influenced not only my workdays, but also how I thought about productivity, success and even my own value as a professional.
What started as a cultural shock slowly became something I integrated into my own mentality. I learned that taking things a bit easier doesn’t mean caring less. That setting boundaries doesn’t make you less committed. And that a healthy distance from work can actually make you more focused, more present and, ultimately, happier.
Looking back, this shift in perspective has been one of the most meaningful aspects of my expat experience in the Netherlands. Not because things work ‘better’ here in an absolute sense, but because they work differently, in a way that gently reshapes how you relate to your time, your energy and yourself.
Written by Rossella Davì