For many people, drinking means fun, friendship and escape from boredom and worry. It’s carefree time with friends and a feeling that life is good. But for those who struggle to control their drinking, it means none of these things.
Any pleasure they once took in drinking is gone. Good times are just memories. Those of us in this situation can’t relive our most enjoyable moments anymore, and it’s painful. Many of us are heartbroken that we can’t feel joyful while we drink. We are convinced that a miracle might happen and we might suddenly have control. That’s one reason we keep trying and failing – we always think the next time will bring that miracle. As the people in our lives grew more disappointed and frustrated with us, we withdrew from society and from life itself. We became like people living in a country ruled by alcohol. The longer we lived there, the lonelier we became. Loneliness was like a fog surrounding us, growing thicker all the time. Some of us visited dirty and dangerous places searching for others who would understand and accept us, and we were relieved for a while. But we would drink until we couldn’t remember anything at all, and when we woke up, we had to face the hideous Four Horsemen of Alcoholism: Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this will understand exactly what we mean.
We have found a solution
Sometimes a serious drinker who is dry at the moment will say, ‘I don’t miss it at all. I feel better. Work is better. I’m having a better time than I did when I was always drunk.’ As ex-problem drinkers ourselves, we smile to ourselves when we hear this. We know this person is just trying to keep up his spirits, like someone whistling in the darkness to cope with their fear. They’re fooling themselves. Inside, they would give anything to have six or seven drinks and get away with it. They will try to do just that, since they are so terribly unhappy being sober. They can’t imagine their life without alcohol. And some day, they won’t be able to imagine life with alcohol or without it. They won’t want to imagine life continuing at all. A person who reaches this place will experience deep and extreme loneliness. They might even wish to end their life. We say they are at the ‘moment of truth’.
In our fellowship, we have shown how we escaped that place ourselves. But now you may be thinking, ‘Yes, I’m willing to try. But does that mean my life will become boring and joyless? Like the lives of some righteous people I see? I know I have to live without liquor, but how can I do that? And will this new way of living replace liquor with something else? Something to help me feel happy and energized?’
Yes, there is a replacement and it can give you more than alcohol ever could. It is the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. It will help you find relief from boredom and worry. Your imagination will come alive. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfying years of your life lie ahead. This is how we feel about the Fellowship, and so will you.
‘How will this happen?’ you ask. ‘Where will I find these people?’